Dear Captain Wormwood... I
A mentoring programme.
Dear Captain Wormwood,
I received your recent report on the establishment of a professional body overseeing the Engineers. You have finally produced something of note, and Our Father Below will be most pleased.
This will really make up for all those disasters previously. We were close to having you 'reassigned', but fortunately one of your compatriots managed to draw attention away from your failings.
Thanks to the sacrifice of your colleague, I am no longer as ravenous as I once was, and am sufficiently calm enough to explain your error.
I know you originally thought that sabotaging a few bridges would unhinge them. How foolish. Of course it merely energised them to be more passionate and inquisitive as they tried to solve the problems. You see, we don't want things to work but nor do we want them to fail. What we want is them to be distracted. We want them like cattle. We want them to think that bridges are of no consequence, that there are other, more urgent matters to deal with. They should not be pondering the effectiveness of minefields, they should be buried beneath worry after worry, each of them provoked by a few questions from higher, and a few admonitions whenever initiative is seen.
We want them to be 'safe' - and that is one of the key words you must spread with your work. Always express caution, always be the 'voice of reason'. One of my favourites is to interrupt with some rolling eyes and to challenge the proposed solution as 'unrealistic'. What a delight! They are quickly turned away from the work of the Enemy, and instead start bickering over ground of no consequence in an effort to be 'realistic'!
Your recent formation is most interesting. I know you are gloating about being close to where the decisions will be, thinking you will be able to influence them, but the real achievement in your work is the establishment of a committee.
Many of your peers have forgotten what effect a committee can have, such is the lack of presence the Enemy now has. While they are indeed pervasive, you have managed to establish one which will be touted as a solution - and that is the real rub: Utopia. And even better: with an illusion of democratic input.
They are floundering around looking for solutions and think it will magically lie among the common man! Of course, sound thinking is never a monopoly. But the belief that it will reliably and consistently pour forth from wherever it happens to be fashionable to look is a definitive dead end!
This will keep them from any monarchical vision that will set them on the path to the Enemy. It will be one dreamy solution after the next, never to stand on the ground that He desires them to. He wants them all thinking for themselves, nested in a hierarchy where everyone pulls toward the eternity of duty, each as important as the next, but each in his proper place.
This committee you have rustled up will have them distracted for sometime, and hopefully enough damage can be done before Our Father Below strikes.
Yours in temporary pride,
General Screwtape
